


beneath these cold fingers, there lives fire

by M_nancywheeler



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, things are complicated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:11:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_nancywheeler/pseuds/M_nancywheeler
Summary: “What do you know of my heart?”Arya returns to Westeros from Braavos as a young woman. Though she is older, wiser, and deadlier, her notions of the world are startled by her own feelings for the people she once knew and the people they've become.





	1. Castle Black

He was silent.

Like his direwolf, Jon was one to intimidate by sheer presence. There was a coldness about him, an icy exterior that Arya had never seen any man possess. When Jon did speak, men listened and obeyed. Men did not call him king, but if Jon was not a king, then surely no other man was. Not in Arya’s eyes, at least.

He had his chambers in Castle Black as befit his rank as the leader. He was neither king nor lord commander after his death so Arya was unsure of what his exact title was. So, like the rest of the people at the wall, he was Lord Snow.

_Lord Snow_

Now that was strange on Arya’s lips.

_But not in a bad way._

When Arya arrived at the Wall, she’d only been a girl with a fierce wolf. Unlike Daenerys and Tyrion, Arya had not flown in by dragon. No, she’d sailed aboard Justin Massey’s old ship. When she finally arrived after a tumultuous voyage, Arya was greeted with the fantastic sight of Rhaegal. He was perched atop Castle Black’s roof, blowing fire into the white gray sky. In that moment, Arya felt her heart pound so hard she was certain Nymeria could feel the same tension. As men came out to greet her party, Arya tried to see someone she recognized.

_I wanted to see Jon._

Instead, she saw Ghost make his way through the crowd, silent yet fierce. Without any warning, Nymeria leaped towards him. The two direwolves circled each other while the whole Wall stood by, their full attentions fixed upon the wolves. For a moment, it seemed like the two would attack each other, but they only stood still.

They only moved apart when Jon appeared. Immediately, Ghost took to his master’s side. What a perfect unity of cold terror.

Jon was dressed in all black, and his eyes were cold and hot. One eye was red and the other was gray. He had a deep scar running through the red one. Arya wondered what happened to cause these changes in her brother, if these were part of the death she heard of, but she didn’t dare ask. Not then.

“Arya,” he said, his voice was deeper than she remembered.

_I only remembered the boy who gave me Needle and mussed my hair._

This Jon wasn’t that boy Arya held so dear in her heart. This Jon was a man, she observed. His voice was deeper and he was taller, though he was not a tall man, and, of course, his eyes were different.

“Jon,” she said in a voice so low she could barely hear herself. Frost lingered in the air with the name.

In all of Arya’s fantasies of meeting her brother again, they rushed together and hugged. She would cry into his shoulder and he’d tell her he was here for her. He would tell her that he loved her, missed her, and would take care of her. That’s how everything would’ve happened in her fantasies. But the truth was different.

“Then you’ll come into the castle, little sister,” he said before striding off into Castle Black.

Arya followed.

Many at the Wall were fascinated by not only her presence, but by Nymeria’s as well. Nymeria was always to be feared for she was wild and calculating all at once. Her spirit was one the Wildlings were particularly fond of.

“Ay, this she-wolf’s got a right temper, and shows it too! Not like Ghost. No, Bloody Ghost is always hiding and stalking within the shadows,” Tormund Giantsbane said with not a little admiration.

Arya smiled, taking pride in her beast. “Just don’t get on Nymeria’s bad side.”

Tormund laughed so hard he spit out some of his ale. “No, m’lady, I wasn’t planning on it. I didn’t get past no she-bears and white walkers only to get mauled by some terrible _she-wolf_.”

Arya only hoped he wouldn’t venture from that wisdom.

Aside from those who came with Daenerys host, the Wall had a sparse population.

Tyrion told her that once Jon died, chaos took hold until only about 500 people were left standing. Between bloodshed and starvation, the numbers were dwindled.

“Jon never told me that,” Arya told Tyrion when he gave her the sum of what he’d heard from the survivors

“Oh, no? I imagine not. That brother of yours never speaks. Queen Daenerys oft complains of how tight-lipped he is. I told her she ought to have Drogon speak with him. He’s got a searing tongue, that Drogon.”

Arya reached down and pinched his non-nose hard. “That’s not funny.”

Tyrion squired away from her pinch. “I was only japing. Nevertheless, you must admit Lord Snow spends more time with that red bitch than with anyone else.”

Arya’s heart stung. She looked away from Tyrion, her eyes fixed on the Wall.

“Did that hit too close to home? My apologies, Lady Arya.”

Arya didn’t want his apologies. “Shut up, _imp_.”

He hated being called an imp and Arya knew that full well.

Tyrion clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Perhaps I _am_ an imp. But I know more than you think.”

That made Arya snort. She turned her gaze away from the Wall so that she could look down upon Tyrion. “What in the world do you know about anything?”

“Some say I’m a very learned man, a master of politics and strategy.”

“Don’t I know that! You’re a bloody liar. That’s all politicians are. I wouldn’t boast if I were in your place.”

“Do you fancy yourself better? By your own admission, you’re half a bravo and partially trained assassin. And by gods, you are better at planning war than me. I’d say that makes you a liar and a killer. Just like me.”

“I’m nothing like you,” Arya spat.

“You are. But so is Queen Daenerys. And so is your precious lord brother. None of us would be here if we weren’t. Those pious, honest fools—sweetling, they were killed early on in this long and sad tale.”

Arya had nothing to say to that so the imp continued.

“I don’t judge you, Arya. My sins are blacker than yours, make no mistake. I’m going to one of the deepest hells. I imagine. Eventually I’ll have to kill my father again when we cross paths once we’re in the same fiery pit. The seven love a warrior, not a conniving demon like me. They’re not like your Old Gods—now _they_ love a wild, terrible spirit. You’ll find a home when all is said and done. However, I do question whether they’ll take fondly to the fact that you’re in love with your brother.”

Arya blinked. “I am not.”

“You are.”

“What do you know of my heart?”

The imp broke into one of his terrible grins. “Little, I’m sad to say. To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t mind being in your brother’s position. Still, I’ve seen this before, a brother and sister in love. Those who stand in the way, well, they have a skin of wine and an angry boar in their future.”

She didn’t bother to ask what he meant by his last remarks. Tyrion often spoke in phrases and stories that only he understood. All his own tragedies that Arya wanted no part of. She had more than enough of her own to remember.


	2. Echo's Answer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a minute! I wanted to get back into this story. Thanks for reading! Feedback is welcome.

_or if your wish be to close me,i and_  
_my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,_  
_as when the heart of this flower imagines_  
_the snow carefully everywhere descending;_  
_-e.e. cummings_

Chapter 2: echo's answer

Arya's steps were careful and quiet as she made her way to the lord commander's chambers. She looked around the corridor to see if another soul was coming, but there was nothing to see. Only silence and her shadow following her across the walls.

Arya steeled herself as she knocked on the heavy door. For a moment, there was no stir. The hour was late so Arya considered whether Jon was asleep. Perhaps she came to see him too late.

She knocked on the door once more, but there was still only silence as an answer. Arya turned to walk back to her chambers when her walk was halted but the sound of the heavy door's opening. As she stood in the corridor's shadows, she saw the red witch, Melisandre, step out of the chamber with Jon following behind her. Arya could see them clearly lit by the torches on the wall. The two did not speak. Rather, they looked at each other in utter silence. Neither spoke until after Melisandre took a deep breath and exhaled. Her hand moved up to hold Jon's face, caressing his bottom lip with her thumb. His eyes were closed.

Her voice was low and sad when she spoke. "I will return in the morning, Jon Snow."

It was Jon's turn breathe in deeply. He then took her hand off his jaw and gently pushed it back to her form. "I'll see you then, my lady."

Nothing more was said between them. Melisandre walked towards an opposing corridor while Jon stood staring after her. He turned to walk back into his chambers, but he stopped short of opening the door when he saw Arya emerge from the shadows.

"Arya? What are you doing here? Is there something wrong?" His face looked concerned to Arya.

She was standing before him, a bit lost under his gaze, and suddenly she felt herself at a loss for an explanation. At least one that was seemly.

Arya bit her lips before a response could come to mind. Why was she there? "There's nothing wrong. I mean, nothing that is serious. It's only just that I could not sleep. I thought you might be awake. To talk. Remember how we used to at Winterfell?"

A faint smile appeared on his face. "I do remember. A long time ago. Would you like to come in?" He nodded at his chamber door behind him. Arya said that she would.

The lord's chambers were larger than Arya imagined, but they suited Jon Snow well enough. It was spare. The only allowance for nobility was the great ebon desk and a large matching chair. Arya noticed his longsword, Longclaw, was rested atop the desk.

Arya walked over to a shelf where there were large books collecting dust. She moved her fingers over the spine of a rather big and old looking book. "Do you ever read these?"

She felt his figure walk behind her. "No, not that often. I'm not one for tomes. Sam was best for that. Why? Have you become more of a reader since we were children?"

Arya turned to look up at him. His face was blank but she could see a slight twinkle of light in his eyes. "Not exactly."

His bent face down to be level with hers. "But you were in Braavos when Justin Massey found you."

Arya snorted. "He didn't find me. I found him."  
Jon's eyebrows were raised. "I suppose we've had little time to discuss how you arrived at Castle Black."

"That's your fault. Not mine," Arya said looking at anything but Jon.

Jon's voice was back to its usual somber tone when he spoke. Any hint of amusement was gone. "I did not intend to neglect you, Arya. I've had a lot on my mind. Sometimes things are not as clear as they should be. People imagine that I have received some special insight given this is my second life, but I'm not so certain."

And suddenly it felt like a hand was twisting at Arya's heart. She brought her gaze back on Jon. His grey eyes were focused on her entirely. "What are you uncertain of?"

The focus drifted off, like snow scattering down onto the ground. Everywhere descending. "I'm uncertain of who I am now. I don't know if I'm who I once was. I'm uncertain of what will happen if the Others manage to tear down the Wall. I don't know if Melisandre's prophecy is true. Of Winterfell. I'm uncertain of Daenerys. Of you."

Arya's eyes went wide. "Of me?"

"Yes. Who are you?"

That same question. She heard it so often in the House of Black and White. Here it was coming from Jon Snow's lips. She knew the answer this time. Arya reached over and wrapped her arms around his middle, her head resting on his shoulder. "I'm Arya Stark. And you have nothing to doubt. I'm always who I've always been. For you."

Jon embraced her back, one of his hands stroke at the top of her head. It was a delicate, tender touch that moved her hair back and forth. Not quite mussing, but close enough.

Arya signed and closed her eyes when she felt him kiss the top of her head lightly.

When Arya went back to her own chambers for bed, she felt lighter than air.  
\----  
In some ways, Arya was still getting used to the Wall. Castle Black was certainly not home. After all these years of searching for a home, of trying to reach Winterfell, she found herself with Jon at the Wall. It was safe, but it was not her home.

There were aspects she could never have imagined. Like the enormous dragons that perched over the Walls, breathing fire into the air, and looking fiercer than life. Arya sometimes liked to watch them from below. She would sit on the ground with Nymeria. Her hand would be polishing Needle as she watched the dragons in all their horrifying and magnificent splendor. The morning after her talk with Jon in his chambers, Arya was doing this exact routine when she was interrupted by a voice saying her name. A woman's voice.

Daenerys Targaryen was not the Imp. Not by a long shot. She was smaller than Arya, her hair was always in long silver braids, and she was beautiful. Arya knew beautiful courtesans in Braavos, and it seemed to Arya that Daenerys could compete amongst them for the most beautiful lore. However, Arya knew very well that Daenerys Targaryen was not like Bellegere Otherys. Daenerys was a queen. It was plain to see that when she was sitting atop her enormous black dragon, Drogon, but it seemed hard to see that much when she stood short and slender before Arya, stuffed inside a finely detailed white coat made of white and red furs.

Arya stood up to greet her. She nodded. "Queen Daenerys."

"The dragons are feeling playful today."

The green one blew fire into the sky. "They are almost children,” Arya remarked.

Arya noticed a pretty smile on the queen's face. "They'll always be my children, though I know they are ferocious. I imagine you feel the same about that direwolf of yours."

Arya felt Nymeria nuzzle her hand. Queen Daenerys had a point. "She terrifies everyone. Does she not scare you, Your Grace?"  
Daenerys turned her gaze from the dragons to focus on Nymeria. To Arya's surprise, Daenerys laughed, her face looking amused enough. "No, Nymeria does not frighten me. I've had a good deal of experience with your brother's wolf, Ghost. If I don't bite, I don't think they will."

Arya returned her laugh. "They've met their match."

A great wind gushed over their heads as Rhaegal flapped his wings in the sky, causing the ground below him to shudder under gusts of cold air.

When Rhaegal flew away, Daenerys's face possessed a grave look. "Arya, I must ask you a question on the subject of your sister."

Arya made sure to keep her face blank. Her face was a blank pool. Showing nothing. "What of her, Your Grace?"

Daenerys' chin tipped up and she stood as straight and tall as possible. "I came here because I trust your brother and Tyrion. They assured me that once the threat of the Others was gone, I would be able to reclaim what's mine."

A sense of unease settled in Arya’s stomach. "What's yours? I'm sorry but I don't understand what that has to do with my sister."

The queen took a deep breath and her eyes closed for half a heartbeat before she regained her composure. "A raven arrived. Sansa Stark is now a woman wed. To Lord Petyr Baelish, no less."

Arya felt a dread settle into her stomach, but she said nothing. Daenerys paused only to speak when she received no reply from Arya. "She refuses to bend the ruins of Winterfell to my rule. The Vale and what Northmen she's convinced are backing her claim to be queen of the north."

"And what do I do about that, Queen Daenerys?"

The queen's lips were pursed until she found the words to speak whatever blazing feelings were captured in her eyes. "Jon says that he was not particularly close to Sansa when they were children. He knows little of her now. Tyrion suspects that it might have something to do with the fact he is bastard born."

Arya interrupted. "I'm not a bastard, and I know little of what my sister does. I haven't seen her since we were in King's Landing. Years and years ago. We did not part on a positive note. I don't know Lady Baelish. She is a stranger to me. If you're looking for someone to speak sense into her, I'm not the one."

Daenerys appeared taken aback, but she stood as tall as possible. Drogon's shadow moved over the castle grounds. "If you have any love for your sister, you will try to help her avoid a great folly. I mean to have the whole of my kingdom," Daenerys took a step back from where she stood as if fixing to leave before saying softly, "Until next time, Lady Arya. Think about what I've said."

Nymeria growled as the queen walked away.

And then, suddenly, snow came down in small gentle flakes, carefully, everywhere descending.

Arya did not return to Castle Black until right before dinner. She had considered what the queen said, but before she could do what she thought best, Arya went to look for Jon Snow.

When she found him in his chambers, he was sitting at his desk. Across the desk, Queen Daenerys was sitting. The pair of them looked surprised to see Arya as she barged in with Nymeria. Ghost leapt up from Jon's side to meet her. If Daenerys was disturbed by the wolves, it did not show.

"I want to speak to Jon. Alone," Arya said, her eyes fixed on Jon. She saw a rolled out piece of parchment on top of the desk. When she looked back at his face, his gaze was focused on Daenerys. Arya could see Daenerys was giving him a knowing look.

Arya expected a fierce response from the queen, but instead, she stood up and nodded at Jon. "I think we've spoken enough, Jon. In any case, I told Grey Worm that I would see him before the start of dinner. We have strategies to discuss. I'll see you upon the dais soon. Hopefully, Lady Arya will be in attendance."

Arya said nothing. She did not move when Jon stood up from his chair and then proceeded to lead Daenerys out of the room.

When he closed the door, Arya could see he looked tired.

"Is it true?"

Jon's eyes narrowed. "What's true?"

Arya pushed her shoulders back and she moved her hands to rest behind her back. "Is it true that Sansa is married to Petyr Baelish? Is it true that she refuses to bend the knee?"

"The answer is yes on both accounts."

Arya closed her eyes. "Gods, she is a fool. What will the queen do?"

Jon's face went cold. "I don't know. She is determined to summit with her. I'll be sending a letter to Winterfell."

"Should we be worried?"

"Don't be worried, Arya. We will settle this. Daenerys is not looking to start war, but Sansa must see reason. No matter, little sister. This is not your task."

Arya rolled her eyes. "What is my task, then?

Jon moved closer to her and he put his hands over his shoulders. Arya felt a sort of melting sensation at the weight of his palms.

"Before this...complication, I intended to watch the new recruits coming in from Eastwatch. Yet, I will likely have to go with Daenerys and Ser Jorah to Winterfell to treat with Sansa. Edd Tollett will serve fine to welcome the new recruits in my stead. But, he's not a man keen on combat. I've seen you in the yards fighting with your Needle---"

Arya felt delighted. "You have?"

He smiled back at her. "I have. I think you would do well in helping Edd training the new recruits. You're Arya Stark, so you will speak for me when I'm gone. Will you do the honor?"

A flood of admiration filled Arya's chest. She was practically breathless when she said, "I promise."  
\---

Arya felt unease when she watched Daenerys and Jon fly away to Winterfell on dragonback. She watched the whole time until Drogon and his brothers were nothing but specks in the sky.

Two weeks passed before the new recruits came in. Arya stood with Edd Tollett and Tormund Giantsbane atop a riser as the new men rolled in. Most of them were a sorry lot. A good deal of them looked tired, half starved if they did not look like utter criminals. The former is what worried Arya. She wondered if it was even possible to make them fit for fighting the Others. If men like Jon and Tormund could barely fight them off, what hope was there for this lot?

Her concerns were only paused by a sight that sent a chill down her spine. Her heart felt frozen before it melted like ice underneath the sun.

Among the last of the recruits, Arya saw men she knew. Even a boy she once knew. But he was a man now. The figures of Thoros of Myr, Lem the Lemoncloak, the Hound, Anguy, Harwin, and Gendry were all huddled as if they were in a group. Stranger than ever to be certain, but they lived.  
Arya called out to them. "You lot at the end! Yeah, you fucking outlaws!"

The men she called to look at her in shock as she walked down from the riser to look at them up close.

"Lady Arya!" She recognized Harwin's voice.

She looked at each of the men quickly. Her last glances were spared at the Hound, though she tried not to express any shock that he was alive. And her last look was for, Gendry, if only because she wanted to look at him. His handsome face blazed down at her, but she refused to look at him longer than necessary. Even if a part of her felt an unexpected desire to inspect him more closely. Instead, she looked at all of them and none of them at once.

Her voice was hard when she spoke. She was not the little girl they remembered. They would know that. "I know you fuckers can fight. Help me train the rest of them."

Gendry was the first speak. "Aye, milady." Arya gulped when he got on his knee. She felt even more surprise when the rest, except for the Hound, followed his lead.

The snow, which was falling so carefully only moments before, seemed to transform into the start of a blizzard as it picked up in the wind that blew over the Wall.


	3. Former Lives

"I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens" E.E. CUMMINGS. 

Chapter 3: former lives

As Arya sat upon the dais, she observed the men that sat in Castle Black's dining hall. These men were not like those men who served Winterfell. They were all cloaked in black, wore pale faces, and seemed sullen if not simply cold. In all her life, she never thought she would be serving as Jon's eyes as the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. A part of her even wondered why the men would submit to her temporary rule. She was only a girl, and not even a member of the brotherhood. 

_No, but I have a direwolf. These men do not. I also serve in my brother's stead. And he is no ordinary man. He is a man brought back from death. The gods on our his side. Should they betray his command again, they will find themselves at the mercy of death. And so it goes._

Arya let those thoughts escape her mind as she sipped on her glass of water. Her eyes, no matter how she tried to distract herself, seemed to drift back to the Brotherhood Without Banners. Her former captors, her former friends. To her eyes, they looked rather shabby and hungry. She assumed the travel up to the Wall must have been difficult for them as they looked rather pleased to be there, most of them happily feasting upon the rations allowed to the men of the Night's Watch. 

Yet, Arya noticed only one of the men seemed to refrain from the merriment. 

_He's still stupid. I don't know if it's good or bad that some things refuse to change._

Gendry's figure sat stiff as he barely poked and prodded at his porridge and potatoes. For whatever reason, he did not appear to be as hungry for food as the rest of his men.

Arya could also see that his face bore a unyielding scowl. She also noticed that his thick black mop of hair was long and looked as though it was cut sparingly with a blunt blade. Gendry's cheeks, always prominent and strong, looked sharper. Whether that change was due to manhood or starvation, Arya could not be certain. Whatever the cause of the differences in this man from the boy she once knew, Arya could not help but think that he was all the more fearsome and handsome for it. The notion came unbidden, and it did make her somewhat uncomfortable, but she could not help but think it all the same. The only reprise from her assessment of Gendry's handsomeness came in a brief moment where his gaze turned from his food and onto her instead. Their eyes locked, but neither looked away. This was a dare, Arya thought. A dare she would not lose. Not to some bastard boy who left her all those years ago. 

When the supper came to an end, Arya decided to stroll the grounds with Nymeria at her heels. Nearly all the men marched to their respective quarters. All but one. 

"Arya?" Said a gruff, deep man's voice from behind. When Arya turned, she saw Gendry. She could feel his presence behind her, of course, but she would not make a move before he did. That would be a better test, Arya figured. 

Nymeria answered the call before Arya did as she circled the poor lad in response. Most men were terrified of Nymeria's fierce, imposing figure, but Gendry was different. He stood tall and strong as Nymeria sniffed at him. His eyes never wavered from Arya, however. 

"Ser Gendry, is it?" Arya said as she palmed Needle under her cloak.

"You ent sure?" Arya could sense a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

Arya shrugged. "No, I remember. Ser Gendry of the Hollow Hill. You were my friend. Once."

Nymeria stepped back from Gendry and took her place next to Arya. 

Relief seemed to move Gendry's shoulders down somewhat. "So you do remember?I remember, too."

Arya nodded. Her hand moved to pet Nymeria's head. The wolf delighted in her petting. A smile came to Arya's face as Nymeria moved ever closer into her for more affection. "I'm glad to hear of it."

Neither Arya nor Nymeria moved as Gendry moved tentatively forward to the pair of them. "That's your wolf, right? You told me about her once or twice." 

Arya's eyes moved up to look at the tall figure looking down upon her and Nymeria. "Yes, she's Nymeria. Most people think she's quite frightening."

Gendry's thick brows raised in apparent amusement. "Can't blame them there. You don't see direwolves too often. I reckon that's what scares people. But she's a beauty all the same."

Arya bit her lip. Her words almost failed her before she asked Gendry, "Are you still an smith?"

His head nodded. "Aye, I do some smithin' here and there. When there's need and a forge."

At that, Arya stood tall. "Well, here there is both need and a forge. My brother, Lord Snow, said the last smith died on account of the Others. You are a knight, I know, but would you also consider lending your skills to help us defeat the Others?"

To Arya's surprise, Gendry bowed his head. He blended slightly on one knee. "Aye, if it pleases the Lord and you, m'lady. On my honor as a knight, I promise I'll do what I can. That's why I came here, after all. To fight the darkness."

Arya exhaled a frosty breath. He was a vision. When Gendry stood up once more, Arya looked up into his blue eyes. She learned tin the House of Black and White that a person's eyes oft told more than they would ever let slip forth from their lips. In Gendry's eyes, blue and sorrowful and beautiful, Arya saw a man brimming with desire. But desire for what, she did not know. Perhaps for honor, she surmised. 

She licked her chapped lips before asking Gendry, "Is that all you came for, Ser?"

His eyes gave her a long look and up and down. "Yes."  
Arya nodded. The night was growing late. She would have to go to her chambers sooner rather than later. "I think I'll be leaving you to your rest, Gendry. Good night." 

At that, Arya and Nymeria turned to walk away until Arya was halted by the feeling of a strong grip on her forearm. 

Arya turned to see the grip belonged to Gendry. "Let go. Now."

There was no misunderstanding. Gendry pulled away with haste. "Sorry. I-I just wanted to ask you something."

His earnestness made Arya feel something strange. Something like warmth. Rather than walking off as she would with anyone else, she bit her lip before saying rather quickly, "Go on, then. Ask your question."

Arya could see the hesitation in his eyes, but that hesitation dissipated as he gathered the courage to speak his wonders. "Where were you?"

A frequent question in Arya's life ever once she left Braavos. "I was far. But now I'm home."

Gendry nodded. "Aye, you know, we looked all over for you. All over the Riverlands. Every damned bush, inn, and tavern where the Hound might've dragged you."

A blush crept all over Arya's body. A deep hot flush she felt from head to toe. "You lot ought not have done that. I was gone."

Annoyance bordering anger flashed on Gendry's face. "How was we supposed to know that? Point is, we couldn't find you. So we stayed in the Riverlands. We killed the Freys. I thought you should know that. Lord Beric and Tom. They died to avenge your mum and brother. And you."

Arya thought she'd been slapped. It certainly felt so. "You lot? They said the Lannisters finally crossed the damned Freys. It was their comeuppance. Only fools would bed with lions."

Gendry spit on the ground. "Lies. Those is all tall tales. It was us. I sliced Elmar Frey's throat m'self."

Arya paused. "Is that why you lot are here? Escaping charges for murder?"

A dark laugh croaked from Gendry. "Like when we left Harrenhal? No, I did what I did knowing I might die. It's the will of Rhllor that I'm here. But, I always wondered. Where you'd been."

Snow clenched around Arya's heart, threatening to seize it's warmth. "Why's that?"

Concern marked his features. "Cause you were my friend. Like you said, once. First they said you was married to the Bolton Bastard. And then they said the girl who said she was you was just some girl pretendin'. As we travelled further north to Winterfell, well, we heard you was here so Thoros said we had to go to the Wall. The Lady did, too. You were our future."

There were no words. For once, Arya was speechless. Her mouth opened, but no words would come out. They were trapped again. Arya looked at the Great Wall of Ice next to them. In her years of solitude across the sea, she imagined she was alone. The only souls who cared for her were long gone to her. But here was her old friend telling her that not only his life, but the lives of his brothers-in-arms were devoted to her honor, and they were willing to risk their lives again for her.

The notion was almost too much for her to grasp. Arya just shook her head. "I'll see you another time, Gendry. Perhaps we can be friends as we used to be."

A small smile formed on his full lips. "I'd like that."

Arya nodded and walked off with Nymeria at her side. She did not dare to look back at the man behind her. 

\----

The next morning, Arya was in Castle Black's rookery. As she was tying a letter to a raven, a letter intended to Lady Baelish in Winterfell, a raven flew in with a letter. Arya frowned at this arrival. 

The letter attached was one from Jon Snow. It was directed to be read by Arya Stark.

Dear Arya,

Things have not gone over so well in Winterfell. Sansa refused to allow neither Queen Daenerys nor I into the castle. She would only agree to summit outside of the Winterfell with her various guards in attendance. The queen is deeply disturbed by Sansa's behavior, and that of her more inscrutable Lord Baelish, but we were able to come to an agreement over the men she would send to the Wall. While there is no peace between Winterfell and Queen Daenerys, we will all be armed to defeat the cause of the Others for the time being. Please tell Dolorous Edd that we will need more supplies and quarters for the three thousand men who will be following us to Castle Black.

These weeks have been incredibly trying. I'll be glad when we can see each other once more, Arya. Your presence has been sorely missed.

Yours, 

Jon Snow. 

Arya studied the letter once more. Jon's words made her wonder if there was any point in even sending a letter with Sansa in attempt to reason with her. Still, Arya felt like there was perhaps something she could reach in her long lost sister. Something that a bastard brother and a strange foreign queen could not move in Sansa Stark. So, Arya secured her letter to Winterfell and let the raven soar into the sky.

As for Jon's other words...Arya felt a strange gnaw at his words of missing. She also missed him terribly. Arya missed his presence, his face, and his hugs. She missed how he would look at her like no one else. Jon Snow looked at her as if she was the only one who knew him. Though he was still telling her little and being secretive, she could still see the brief openings he allowed her. Arya wanted to pry those openings wide. And she hoped he would want to know her, the secret parts she kept hidden as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very Gendrya heavy chapter because I had to set down the foundations for them. I hope you guys liked it! Please leave feedback if you're reading and have some to give. I would really appreciate it. Thank you for reading <33


	4. The Lady Reborn

  
Chapter 4: The Lady Reborn

  
Afterlife: 6 Years Prior 

  
Lem gave him one of his sour looks that evening as he opened one of the bedroom doors in Old Pate’s house. Old Pate was the closest friend to the Lightening Lord near the Twins according to Thoros.

The tired, creaky boned, old man shifted and narrowed his eyes at their arrival. He asked to see Lord Beric, but he was only met by a walking corpse.

Lady Stark lived while Lord Beric finally died for the last time. Gendry’s eyes widened as he saw the woman reborn. She was little more than a corpse, a frightening, terrible corpse. He lost his breath for half a heartbeat as her eyes fluttered open. Lem pulled her up first while Thoros cursed under his breath.

The Lady’s face was white as milk, was torn apart from the lake, and her throat was slashed. She was far scarier than Beric had ever been.

To make matters worse, the Lady spoke no words it seemed for her throat was damaged. Immediately, Gendry felt himself flush from face to neck and turned away once he realized she wore no clothes. This was wrong, he knew. Only more anger, more frustration settled onto his weary heart. He was so fucking furious at everyone around him. He couldn’t stand to be with this lot. He wanted to leave, to run back home, to find the Hound and kill him with a hammer. Instead, his hands balled up into fists. They came to the Twins to find Arya alive, but they wound up finding her mother dead.  
  
Old Pate’s wife, Alys, gave Lady Stark some garments to wear and a shawl to cast over her head and neck. Gendry had gathered that much from sitting in the shabby parlor as he watched Lady Stark and Thoros walk out of one of the bedrooms where they had been speaking.  
  
When she turned her dead eyes upon where Gendry and Lem sat, Gendry felt felt a shiver go down his spine. Eventually, he was led to one of the bedrooms to sleep for the night with Jack-Be-Lucky and Anguy.

Yet, sleep didn’t come to him. Gendry stared up at the dark ceiling. He didn’t think none of this would happen. He never planned on none of it. All this was because of Arry. Arry. Arya. Whatever name went through his head, Gendry felt his heart clench.

A light flickered through the room as Lem opened the door.  
  
“Gendry, wake up,” he grunted.  
  
Gendry picked himself up on his elbows to stare at the sour older man at the door.  
  
“What for?”  
  
Lem’s face darkened even further. “M'lady wants to speak with you.”

“On what? I thought she didn’t speak.”

“She’s been making some words. Hard to hear but looks like she can talk all the same if you listen. So don’t play stupid, boy. She wants to speak on the girl. Get up or else you’ll get a clout to the head.” Lem shut the door, leaving Gendry to dress.

He didn’t fear ghosts. He wasn’t a child. That’s all he told himself as he entered the parlour where the lady sat.

She wasn’t no ghost. She was a person. But a dead person. All her features were like the stories women used to scare children with in King’s Landing so they didn’t stay out too late once the sun went down.

Her eyes pierced him once he entered. God, he wanted to run. But he wouldn’t. He was a man now and men didn’t run.  
  
Her voice was faint. If not for the complete silence he wouldn’t be able to make out her rasp. “Arya?”

Gendry nodded his head. “You’re her mother, Milady?”

“Once.”

He gulped. There was nothing more confusing than this woman. Not even that bloody Lorathi at Harrenhal perplexed him so much.

“The Hound took her. We all know he did.”

Her head, frightening in a way he couldn’t explain, creaked as she nodded.

“I’ll help you look for her. I want to help. She was my friend.” He was talking because he had no idea what else to do.

For a while there was no response, only wind shivering through the room.

“Step forward, boy.”

The lady commanded, so he went.  
  
Her frail, half skinned hand reached out to him. So he acted by instinct and put his hand over hers.

The lady’s eyes flashed. Something unrecognizable brewed in them. All Gendry knew is that for all his fear upon first talking to her, he feared her no more. They had the same purpose.  
  
Her voice managed to make a snarl.

"Revenge."

\-----

Winterfell: The Lord and Lady

Sansa was glad to be rid of Jon and Daenerys from Winterfell. Petyr was right. All the needed to do was pretend to plead fealty and they would be gone. Her bastard brother, Jon Snow, had ranked too far above his station if he thought he could simply arrive at Winterfell with some foreign queen. Dragons or not. She would no simply bow to them. This was her home. She had killed for it. If she had to lie and swore fealty from her lips while her true heart screamed a no, then so be it. Three thousand men for the dragons to leave her kingdom. Fair enough. 

One of Winterfell's household knights rushed into her solar at the very moment Sansa was looking over some pleas recently sent in from her servile lords. 

"M'lady. I'm sorry to bother you in your duties."

She felt a great agitation come over her. "Your purpose, Ser?"

The knight bowed. "Lady Baelish. You and the lord have a pair of visitors. Ser Paige went to find Lord Petyr."

Sansa placed the scrolls she was reading upon her desk. "Visitors? What sort? Did they introduce themselves."

"I believe one is Sandor Clegane. The great beast of a man. He's with this woman. I suppose it must be a woman, but she's covered in a robe so I can't rightly see her."

Sansa felt as if she was taken back to another person. Another life. She imagined a dove flying only for the dove to disappear into utter darkness. 

"Very well. Send them to the Great Hall. I will find my lord husband so that we may meet these unexpected guests."

\----

Arya could hardly contain her excitement when the watchers on the wall witnessed dragons and marches of men moving towards the Wall. She rushed along with Nymeria to the very top of the Wall in order to see them arrive. When the dragons descended onto Castle Black's entrance, Arya and Nymeria rushed as fast as they could. The figure of Jon Snow was only just visible to Arya but it was all she needed to send her in a rush. 

Jon and Daenerys were already in Castle Black's court, looking as if they were in much discussion with Tyrion, when Arya and Nymeria fell upon them. 

"Jon!" Arya shouted as she rushed over to Jon, jumping right into his arms. She breathed in icy, pine scent. 

"Arya, dear sister, did the both of you miss of us that much," Jon said as a greeting as he placed her back on his feet. His hand stroked her fringe away from her face. Jon motioned his head to Nymeria who had knocked Ghost off of his feet. 

Arya smiled. "Just a little bit. I'm glad you are all back," Arya said with a flush as she looked over at Daenerys and Tyrion. 

Daenerys did not seem amused. "I think I preferred it when you kept to the shadows."

Jon frowned. "Dany, don't be angry at Arya for what conflict we've had with Sansa."  
The silver queen looked away. "I was merely japing, Jon. Of course, I longed to see Lady Arya. Perhaps not as you have---"

Arya was about to cut in to Daenerys' remarks before Tyrion beat her to the punch. "After a long journey, I think it would be best if we got some rest. Though it is morn, our enormous party has been traveling for a long time. Frankly, I could use a small glass of wine. Perhaps a whole casket."

Daenerys shot a look at Tyrion. "I might have to cut your hand off if I see another drink in your hand."

Tyrion feigned a look of shock. "Dear Queen, is it truly so dreadful if I have day of leisure with a drink after weeks of torment?"

Daenerys walked closer to Tyrion and bent down to look him in the face. "Do not question me, or I'll put you into a darker fate than the one I threatened."

"And what could that be?"

Daenerys smiled. "I'll send you back to your little wife."

Tyrion placed his hand over his heart. "Dear gods, take my hand instead."

With that, Daenerys placed her small pale palm over Tyrion's shoulder. "I think we ought to go to my quarters. There is much to discuss between us." 

It seemed to Arya as thought Jon wished to say something to Daenerys, but instead, he watched her leave with Tyrion in tow. 

When the figures of the Queen and her Hand receded into the shadows, Jon looked back at Arya. "So, is it true that new recruits have been welcomed to The Wall? There was a report from some of the Queen's men."

Arya nodded. "Yes. Bandits and rebels and a number of other less savory types with them."

Jon frowned. "Have they taken to training well?"

She shrugged. "After a fashion. Some men won't be rangers. That's for certain. Others, well, they will do."

Nymeria was nuzzling against Jon's palm when he mussed the top of he head. "Then I'd like to meet them. If you don't mind escorting me."  
\----  
The new recruits were ordered to line up for their lord commander. 

Jon was dressed in his finest black furs when he took a look at his recruits. Arya followed her brother as he looked over the men. Most of the men looked intimidated if they even stared at Lord Snow at all when he walked past them. Except for Gendry. He stood straight and bold when Jon approached him. 

"Name, please." It was a command.

Arya could see the fire brimming in his eyes. "Gendry. Just Gendry."

Jon nodded. "Earlier, my sister pointed to you. She told me you were a friend. And a smith, no less. We could use a smith at the Wall."

Gendry's eyes flickered to Arya for half a heartbeat before he looked back at Jon. "I could be a ranger. That's what I was hopin' to be."'

Jon did not seem pleased by the answer. "I don't know of your promise in that respect. I do, however, know that you could be an invaluable brother if you lend your smithing to our fight against the Others."

Arya piped in when she saw Gendry's jaw stiffen. "He can fight, too. I don't know if we must choose one or the other in these times."

The pair of men both looked at her with puzzled expressions. 

Gendry was the first to speak. "I'll do whatever is needed. That's why I'm here for."

The tone in Gendry's voice did little to put Arya at ease. Jon seemed to feel the same because he sounded terse to Arya's ears when he said, "I'm glad to hear of it." 

Jon said nothing else as he walked over to the next recruits. When Arya turned her eyes back towards Gendry, his met hers. She felt pulled in by something she couldn't quite describe so she walked away, wishing she was anywhere but here.  
\----  
The dinner welcoming Queen Daenerys and the Lord Commander back to the Wall was not what Arya would call a feast. Food was being rationed at Castle Black so only vegetable and potato soup was being served with watered down ale. Arya stared at her goblet as she sat next to her Jon Snow. She could feel a pair of blue eyes staring her from the benches but she ignored them the best she could. 

When Tyrion announced an end to the evening, everyone went their separate ways. Jon offered to escort Queen Daenerys, but she rebuffed him, instead requesting for her advisor, Missandei, to walk her to their shared chambers. 

"I suppose you don't walk me," Arya said as she and Jon were the last left in the dining hall. She hooked her arm into his as they walked down from the dais.

Jon leaned down and kissed her forehead once they reached the floor. "I'd like nothing more. I have much to tell you about Winterfell. It's better if we are alone."

Arya's chambers were sparse. They held little but a bed, a wardrobe, and a trunk of her valuables like blades, poisons, and a face she stole from the House of Black and White. 

She closed the door as Jon entered the room. He took a seat on the foot of her bed. Arya followed suit, sitting next to him.

"What happened with Sansa? Is she the reason why Queen Daenerys is so angry?"

Jon's sad grey eyes looked even more tired than Arya thought was possible. "You've answered your own question. Yes, Dany is upset. She has little patience for those who question her rule. As far she's concerned, Sansa and her husband are traitors. It took days of negotiating and quite a bit of pleading from Tyrion and myself for her to bestow mercy upon the pair of them. She won't recognize their rule, but they live instead of being hanged as traitors."  
Arya bit her lip. "Will that last?"

Jon looked away from Arya. "I trust Daenerys."

A worry that Arya could not described suddenly gnawed at her gut. She wanted to say more, to ask more about why he trusted this queen so much, but she put the thought away for the moment. Jon took her out of the rushing thoughts coming to mind when he spoke once more in the tense silence between them.

"That young man. The smith."

Arya's brows furrowed. "Gendry? What of him?"

"He's your friend?"

The tone of his question made Arya blush. "We knew each other as children. When Father was killed, I was rescued by your black brother, Yoren."

Jon's face looked surprised. "Yoren. Seven hells, I haven't heard of his name in years. He rescued you?"

Arya nodded. "He did. I was made to look like a boy so that I could travel with some recruits headed towards the Wall. Gendry was in that lot. But he's not wicked. He was put into that lot by his master. To tell the truth, I don't quite know the man he's become---"

Jon cut in. "He appears to be stubborn and combative."

Arya went on. "But he is here willing to fight for us. I trust him."

  
This time, Arya felt Jon's eyes look over her as if he was inspecting her the way he did to the recruits. She wanted to tell him to stop being stupid, but she couldn't pin down why the action made her feel unusual. 

"I never thought I would see you as a woman. I thought you were dead so many years."

Arya moved in to embrace him, her head over his heart. "I thought you were dead, too. But now I've found you."

She felt a soft kiss on her forehead. It was enough to make her sigh. Worse, she felt a rush of heat go from heart down to her toes as she felt on of Jon's hands stroke her back. 

"Don't worry, Arya. Things won't be as they were before. This time, we'll stick together," Jon said as his free hand tipped up Arya's chin so that she was looking at him, "Do you hear that?"

Arya heard it. But even more so, she felt it. Without thinking, Arya moved her head up and placed her lips on Jon's. Her eyes closed as she moved her lips against his own. To her surprise and pleasure, he responded by deepening the kiss. His hand that was upon her back was suddenly at the back of Arya's head. Arya felt herself get wet as he moaned into her mouth. She pushed him back onto the bed, leaning her body into his. But then she pulled away and looked back at him. Whatever spell they were under it was broken, when his grey eyes looked at hers. 

"Arya, I have to leave," Jon said gently as moved Arya of him. 

"I'm sorry," Arya said meekly, looking at anything but Jon. 

"Don't be," she heard him say. "I'll be back in the morning. I love you, Arya."

"Good night, Jon." That's all Arya could bring herself to say as she felt submerged in humiliation. 

When he closed the door, Arya felt as if she might cry. Instead, she buried that feeling deep inside. Only a stupid little girl cried. Just like the little girl she once was in Harrenhal. At the Twins. When she found Bellegere dead in her chambers. No, Arya was no little girl. She was a woman now. A woman did not cry for what wasn't hers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was initially writing this story, LSH was dead. But then I got to thinking...dun dun dun. She is very much alive. The first portion of the story was previously a one-shot but I thought it worked here. It's kind of my base for any BWB story where LSH is still among the living. 
> 
> I hope this update is liked! Feedback is appreciated. I've had this end kiss in my brain for a while now so it was nice to actually have it written.

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be said now: I'm a gendrya. However, I'm also a huge Arya Stark stan. I've read and thoroughly enjoyed plenty of Jonrya fics if they explore Jonrya in a manner that makes sense and renders provoking portraits of Jon and Arya's relationship. I want to pay this relationship respect and develop a romance with nuance. Yet, I also love Arya and Gendry's relationship. And I intend to do the same by those two. As of now, I don't have any fixed idea for the endgame of this fic. There's plot points in my head, sure, but the finale is still uncertain. Thank you for reading! I know this may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's a story that's lived in my head for years.


End file.
